Every Broadway show will eventually close. There were over 7000 performances of “Cats” but even this theatrical tour de force ended after it’s producers felt it was no longer pertinent or popular.
All of us have long running shows in our minds. They may be “Mom never loved me” or “I’m not smart/strong/good-looking enough.” These are the shows that often play for many years after they’re no longer relevant. Their time has passed so we need to “close them down.”
If a show only has one audience member it must not be that good. Don’t be the last person to attend. Learn when to close the show and move on with your life.
We often gauge our success in comparison with others and we almost always “compare up.” Unfortunately, this can be a recipe for unhappiness.
It’s better to figure out what matters to YOU and bring your attention and focus back to that, not to what someone else is doing. Being “self-referential” means to focus more on YOUR behavior and YOUR personal goals than on the performance of someone else.
Older children often require a different type of parenting. Since adolescence is described as an “independence seeking” stage it’s often better for a parent to take a step back. Giving an older child some “space” can actually make it more likely that they will ask you for advice and help.
But, be careful.
It’s fine to help your child problem-solve but it does them little good to repeatedly rescue them.
